today is a GREAT day! met up with many frens whom I haven met in ages! may lee, jappies and jey meiss! :)



so morn went duathalon with maylee. hahha! she woke up at 4 but only reached bedok at 730 coz she waited for bus for supppeer long.. so on our way! we caught up with each other's life.. *winks* YEA! so May, Cherhan, Kenneth and kaiping made frens. And i made frens with totally random ppl like arfiq and hafi? where's ZAHIR man! hahahha! YEA, and the bike ride was a killer. all the other bikers their bike like super pro kind. then somehow they ride damn fast. GOSH! i kept praying for strength and for the race to end soon. HAHA! 16km leh. my butt super pain.



HAHA! but i think may is worse than me. somehow i feel running is worse. 6km somemore. WAA can die. Yea, so after tt kenneth, may and i went to eatt at the lagoon food centre! HAHA! we ate satay, popiah, laksa, hokkien mee, carrot cake, and a drink each! super full lah! then after that went home and i just K.O!



I wanted to wake up at 5pm to go pig's chalet by 6pm! butt!! i set my alarm clock as 0500 instead of 1700. so it dint ring! -_- luckily er jie came home and woke me up coz she bu shuang that i sleep for so long. HAHA! and when i checked my phone. WAA near 7pm and i got so many miss call from pingni.. Yea, so i went to meet evad and kian yong at pasir ris :) the mama bakery prince aka my secret crush aka kian yong can drive! so super cool lah. i like taking spin. to wen bin's house, to fetch jan and then to pig's chalet.



:) heee.. so almost all my jappies all attached huh! with 1 shy one who refuses to say anything. coool sia! girls who know how to speak japs are attractive i think! HAHA! ehhh! that includes mee! HAHAAA! Yea, and then met pingni's new fren siauling? and we act as if we really know each other for super long! and pingni really believed us! HAHA! so cute lah she. Then we cut cake and all :)



YEAY! HAPPY Bday my beloveddd piggy! for our frenship since pri sch. the jap days :) so much fun at MOELC, J8 and on the car where ur dad will bring us home! YEA, i reallly love u my darling girl! and for the chalets u always have! aixin toast. and yu zai ni tu li. whatever that is. HAHAHA! MUACKS! stay happy always ok? whatever difficulty u might face in life. it'll all be okay and God's always there for you!





























i think i'm a lil high the whole day. but i feel so super happy the whole day lah :) meeting my frens and all :) YEAAA! it feels good that meeting old frens and seems like the topics never stop flowing. i love that feeling..

oh yea and yest went out with joel and peixiang to hougang mall! like my last outing with them lah! YEA! and like we eat ajisen, went to the game store and arcade! we did a cool thing with our remaining $5! hhahha! we took neoprints :) gonna miss them so much mannn!! then went to meet Clairee for BS! waaa. i think her book is super GOOD! like answer all the things i'm struggling with!! :) and of course my dear Claire is so goood too! i love u to bits!

then talking to jeremy, yhihhuua and claire yest! hmm. i dint get into berkeley. and not sure if i'll get into the other 2 as well. but it's alright. not feeling sad le. like if God wants me to stay local obviously He wants me to complete what He has in mind. Rejection like very sad lah butt at least it's like an obvious answer. imagine if i get accepted into all. Hm.. and knowing there's still things to do over here. What am i to choose man. i'll be struggling so hard to make a decision. Anw, A child of God shouldnt be an escapist! I should face my own devils. YEA, and i know staying local will definitely be good for me! i'm going to find my God Sent boyfren aka husband and going to bring salvation to my family and relatives! :) and my desire to go overseas, He'll fulfil it when the time comes. perhaps now is not the time.. but perhaps it might be. but strong feeling it's not. Yea, so i'm trusting in Him.. :) and quite exciteddd abt starting uni soon!

rained @ 12:36 AM

started school at compassvale. 1st week was totally tiring and mind cracking. need to plan lessons! and need to be creative so students will listen. Hmmm thank God i did okay. considering i have zero experience. just thrown into 5 classes like that. Yea, but saw public caning which i dint like at all. And like knew students who slash themselves and all. it made me so sad. i wanna share christ with them lah.. But Yea like claire says, love them with the love of christ and they will see and love the christ that I love too.

Yea, this week is more slack. like just go into class and distribute work and interact with them. no need to plan lessons. much easier. sch's coool with joel and peixiang! with the little miss meanie joel coming up with theme every single day and non stop complains and story! Yea and lunch at sengkang, hougang and rivervale. the 2 of them are leaving tml alrdy! super sadd! gonna miss them man! i must hurry go make frens with shinyi and valerine. HAHA.

Yea, and there was also LAN! raining super heavily. few losers in tent getting Drenched coz there's no fly sheet. HAHA! and had to use an umbrella in the tent -_- but thank God later the night. BBQ could still go on and moon was shining brightly! prayer works! :) and Yea played games and beach and formed candle heart! :) introducing the beachy team! susan,kangde,kenneth,wei jie,nich,jingxiang and me! Took a cab home after tt coz we missed the last train..

Yea, then Good fri went for Youth For Christ concert with council ppl :) it was good. when i saw the passion of christ clip again. couldnt stop crying as i tot of how jesus went thru all those sufferings. His love is so Great.. who am i to deserve such perfect love.. but He did it for me anw.. Then went to meet cell for Minds..

Yea, this sat dualthalon with may lee!! :) we gonna thrash the rest rightt? HAHA! Yea, then after tt yhihhuua and i had it all planned out! Yup. then there'll be pig's chalet! HAPPY BDAY GIRL! i love love LOVE U! Yea, then sun night they'll be ppl's party with cell :) woo hoo! and mon movie with my happy duo YHIHHUUA! :) SOL!

meanwhile i still have to chiong application! stop procrastinating xiuuuu!

rained @ 10:49 PM

i must blog about this special day! :) went with huixian to nus open house! haha! fun with this silly girl as usual. we were both so borrreed by the USP. we fell asleep! HAHA. then after tt we parted for diff talks. and when i went back to find her and pop out from the pillar, she saw me. paused for a while. and suddenly shouted real loud and look as if she just saw a ghost! stupid girl! it was really funny and embarrasing!! HAHAHA! :)

Yea! but that's not the most special part of today.. Jeremy my dearest cousin! :) told me of the dinner for san gu gu. So like i told my family members abt it. coz normally when all the gu gus have function, our family wont join coz of some last generation affair. I also dunno what.. But today :) God is good. Mum, Dad, Da jie and i went. and with all the rest of the Gu Gus and Shu Shu. only Be Be wasnt there! but still it's like such a rare opportunity for all of us to sit down tgt to dine! :) it really feels so good. and to talk to my not-so-close cousins and reach out to them. to talk to all my Gu Gus and uncles. though it's just a gathering at kopitiam, it meant soooo much more to me. and not only to me i guess.. coz san gu gu msged me to tell me how happy Gong Gong and PoPo are. i just feel like crying lah. it's like 18 yrs of my life. till now then i realize how indifferent I have been to all that has been happening in the family. When i see all of us are not that close, I dint even bother to make a change.
I'm so glad GOD u brought jeremy into the picture and showed me what u want me to do! u showed me all the hurts that's inside so many of them.. And i know i can no longer be indifferent abt them, now that I know of ur love LORD. I wanna heal all their hurts with ur love LORD. I want to make a difference to this family. Show me how and let ur love shine thru me... :) i love my Abba Father.

And yhih huua is so sweet! :) she sent me an ecard to remind me that: " GOD LOVES ME!!!!"

rained @ 2:45 AM

today is such a fun day at my house! yhihhuua and kenneth really came on the dot. 10am! i was still asleep lah! cant believe they're really that punctual! waaa i must learnt to be like them and get rid of my bad habit of being late. sooo! it's such a wonderful day! Zi-high and all! We're named the power drill team coz we dint have electrical drills but we manged to drill 6 holes out of the wood using screw drivers! HAHA!

rained @ 1:03 AM

Yea.. haven been to work again past few days. So tue met yhihhuua, christina and kenneth! christina is one super ulu blur mountain! we must bring her out to the real world soon! HAHA.
YH and i discussed our LAN. we're supper cool, efficient and pretty LAH! cant stand ourselves. Then we went to watch 'away from her'. I can see kenneth was totally bored. But it's a good depiction of LOVE. the husband sacrificed so much just to make the wife happy. and the wife may not even appreciate or rmb him.. so sad loh! yea, then we went shopping for our L.A.N itemss! :)

Yest, went back to sch to settle transcripts and recommendation letters. Yea. super tedious. so many paper work. Then yhihhuua came to my house after tt! made my day coz purecat sacked me again for 2 days! so we did our souvenir! hahaha! and we talked abt our spiritual life! it's so cool :) totally love it man. i love ur r/s with God and i am going to develop a frenship with him too! Simply love u girl!

Today! went to tuition nich at NLB. my 1st time there. Yea, then went to catch step up 2. i think it's nicee.. :) i wanna be a professional Danceeeer too! HAHA! then went to meet claire. WAA i really need to change my bad habit of being late. next time i'm late pls dont be nice to me frens. Be super mean to me and help me develop the habit of being on time again. But the session with u girl is so heartwarming. Thanks so much for spending time just for me and running all the way down from office. I LOVE U to bits..

It's like the circumstance sometimes press me so hard i feel so sian and just want to leave things as it is. i dun wish to try and fear to try. i get very turned off by frequent invitation to try going for church activities. coz it will mean a struggle for me again! what is right and what is wrong. I want my main priority to be abt my walk with God. not church or cell. it's hard to juggle. why is it when i dun go church or cell then my walk with God goes downhill. It should not be the way. Not at all. I should thirst for more of Jesus, be discipline and seek alternatives by myself..
i feel tt action speaks louder than word. i dunno when ppl ask me if i am ok is it really from the bottom of the heart.. seems like i hear it more than i feel it. and ppl just forget abt u and move on with life. I need to feel like I am being understood. Thank you claire lim siok woon so much for making me feel that way. Accountability partner.. Hmm.. sth i really need to pray abt. sometimes i dont feel things are getting better even after praying. And praying feels like a chore to me. But seeing yhihuua and how she always say "Pray Loh!" and "never underestimate the power of prayer" really picks me up.. I need to learn how to treat God like my bestfren..

I should just stop wallowing in self pity. i dun like it at all. time to pick myself up. make a change and move on..

rained @ 1:11 AM

Got back results yest. i got ABBCD. Thank God for my results :) though not straight As like what many are getting. i really believe that God has a plan for me and my results will lead me to the path HE has planned for me.
Well, i want the easiest way out of course. Straight As. The scholarship i want accept me. Overseas uni accept me and poof I fly off overseas away from Singapore.. Go and satisfy my adventrous spirit, learn to be independent and escape from certain things I have been struggling with.
But, my Good plan may not be a God's plan. and God's plan is definitely greater than my plan. coz He sees the full picture better than I do. and He knows what's best for me. coz He know me better than I do.
I still have to learn to trust God more. to have more faith. to be satisfied with what I have. to not doubt who I am in Christ despite what others might say.. Life's like a learning journey to be more like Jesus.
Mother teresa once said " God did not call us to be sucessful, just faithful." I want to run this race of life with Jesus with endurance and persevere like how Jesus did..
GOD BLESS :)

rained @ 1:11 AM

today.. afternoon i watched pride and prejudice with Da jie! it's a great movie.. then da jie lent me a few books to read. i plan to read when i go relief teach. should have more time for myself! :)

Yea, then met cell grp for Peng's bday! :) happy 24th bday boy! God bless u in all that u do! it's such a blessing to have u in my cell grp! we went to raffles city shokudo. i like the place for the marche comcept and of course FOOD! hahha :) ping and qi joined us today too! :)

Yea then after that went to ice cream chef to meet reb and claire :) it was a peaceful session for me. we prayed and talk to our Abba Father. i lift up this friday up into ur hand. Lord, i love u so much. i rmb how i cried badly when i first knew how Jesus died on the cross for me.. I was really so touched by what u've done for us. Who am I to deserve soooo much of your love. But u did it for me anyway! We tend to forget the joy of salvation and love of jesus with time. But I must never forget that. Coz it's this love of jesus that would bring me through EVERYTHING in my life. Likewise for this fri. Many of my thoughts and feelings Lord only you would undstd and provide me comfort. I trust in you. I really lift up my life into your hands.. My eternal Father, Saviour, Best Friend and Lover.... Thanks for putting eternal into my Heart :)

This song touches my heart so deeply...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ6dYDRMRm4

WHY--- Nicole Nordeman
And it said : Father why are they screaming.
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robes??
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows.
Father please can’t you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry.
I thought I could handle a cross of this size,
Father remind me why, why does everyone want me to die.
When will I understand why?

My precious Son, I hear them screaming.
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming
but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus this hurts me much more than you know,
but this dark hour I must do nothing.
Though I’ve heard your unbearable cry
— the power in your blood destroys all the lies,
soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look there below see the child trembling by her father’s side.
Now I can tell you why, she is why you must die.

rained @ 12:15 AM

today! shared with shiming my story.. and it's good to have another listening ear..
YEA! then ping and claire came my house! :) ping reached 1st and so we started cooking! then we chiong before claire arrived! HAHAHA! we're like super chefs lah! we cooked egg, prawns, cabbage and chicken! so we wanted to put 18 candles on the paper plate. but in the end no time. so we just lighted one big one and threw the rest on the plate! it's quite funny. HAHA!
Yea this week will be a busy week and FRIDAY is the day!!

rained @ 11:20 PM

this week.. Hmm.. thurs fri sat was a painful lesson for me.. but taught me to be more patient to seek the holy spirit in whatever decision i make. and less naive.. Yea, anyway thank God for sending frens to me to guide me back and for my GOR! :) i really appreciate the talk with my bro. though sometimes i'm really quite irritated with him coz of his erratic behavior but I still love him for being the one who introduce me to christ and being there when i need help or advice..

Yea, but anw the incident dint spoil my mood for my treat of family dinner :) and today! xiyan company lunch and K box session! HAHA! it's super shiok shiok! went to eat at sizzler! i ate ALOT! and they have some dark secret which they refuse to share! hahhaa. then went K box and sang ALOT too.. i was hogging the mike almost the whole time. the older ones rest refuses to sing alot. HAHA! and the almost same age ones yvonne and peckteng dint sing at all! bholor and her family from mongolia so obviously they cant sing. so i zi high myself and it's my own mini concert lah! HAHAH! Yea so it's good time and company and most HAPPY thing is i dint spend a cent! HOHO! :)

AND my God is soooo Goood to me! i'm invited for a tea session with President at istana coz i led the fundraising for president charity during Chingay fundraising period.. and i'm excited to meet the president at istana! HAHA! i walk past there everyday but now i can enter istana not on a open house day.. HAHA..

then that day saturday Mr Teo Chee Hein came to visit xiyan. and I was serving their table. so excited lah so i msged da jie.. and she said maybe Mr Teo thinks my er jie doing part time job coz he knows my er jie (airforce) and i look like her.. HAHA! and i did a funny thing.. So he started asking me my school and what i study and everything.. then i poped a random remark!
"acty my sister is Tan Shu Yee." then Mrs Teo was like " Ooohh that rings a bell!" and Mr Teo was like "ooohh.. i just went on a trip with her recently!" so i just smiled lah! coz they smile then they praise me for my good service, wished me good luck and greeted me goodbye!

and it REALLY sounds OK right?!!! it sounds like a sweet and lovely conversation. but when i told my family about it! everyone felt so paiseh! coz i realize Mrs Teo was being sarcastic when she said "Ooohh that rings a bell!" she dun even know my sis. and when i said "acty my sis is Tan Shu Yee" it's as if my sis is some super Big shot that minister should know her name lah! HAHAHA. OKAY WHATEVER! so i am "LITTLE MISS ACTUALLY!" of the household now! everyone is teasing me! HAHAA. whatever. simplicity is my trait OK and i am proud of it! :) but not naive-ness which i really REALLY need to change!!

alright that's all folks! Tata~ results coming out this fri! i'm leaving all into ur hands LORD! GOD bless everyoneee :)

rained @ 11:19 PM