Lord pls dun let the seed of unforgiveness and bitterness grow in me...
so many things happening in my life.. i find ppl who are unreasonable, irresponsible, unappreciative and who take things for granted, irritating and i dun feel like talking to them..
i hate to feel like people are selfish.. tt they dun really care abt others ard except themselves.
just give me a break. i m tired of trying to be caring and understanding all the time..
i know i may be feeling self righteous and justified. but it's really not easy to love and forgive when i know i m not deserving of the things tt happens.
i know satan would gloat to see me like tt. He know he would have succeeded. tt rs with my family and frens do affect me alot. and he'll do all he can to use persecutions and disappointments to crush me.
and i know i wont let him have the last laugh. coz u mean it for the bad. but God use it for the good. to mould me, to strengthen me..
but i m struggling.. i dunno how many ppl really do care abt me, who do think and pray for me. but this is the season i need much prayers.. i dun share just to inspire or make myself feel better. but coz i m asking for help and understanding for things i m going thru. and for prayers. so be kind and stop adding unnecessary burden on me.. if only everyone can just be reasonable, responsible, appreciative and not take things for granted.

Fruits of the spirit..love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control...
help me walk in meekness, in wisdom, in humility, in love, in forgiveness Lord. allow me to release all bitterness and learn to love like Jesus did. humiliated, shamed, tortured yet choosing to forgive and love and die on the cross for us.. i know i m a gold in the refining process.. hot fire is only to make me stronger.. help me be more like you Jesus.. help me stay close to you..

rained @ 1:44 PM

God holds EVERYTHING in His hands..
Faith... consists stages of Dreams, Decision, Difficulties, Delay, Dead End, Deliverance.
God will make us go thru every stage..
Right now, I am probably at the stage of difficulties and delay..
My dead end and deliverance is not here yet.
I cant give up right now.
I need to be stronger in Christ. i need to keep on keeping on.

Thank you for angels in difficult times like this.
every encouragement and concern touches me.
jan, xy and cham for just being there when i came out of house..
so happy to catch up with u all my jappies.
pingni's party cheer me up abit.
happy bday pig! u're one of the bravest girl i know.
can never know tt u're sad coz u're always happy
u handle ur probs and dun let them rob away ur joy
u have frens and family who loves u alot
and i m so glad u found urself such a lovely boyfren who loves u much
cham was saying he's like the man behind the scene.
work very hard but hiding behind the limelight.
guardian angel i would say.
my neighbours.. for showing concern and undstding when i m not ard so often these few days
i miss claire and reb in uk..
the christian perspectives u all give me never fail to make me feel much better.
i thank God for my family, however imperfect we might be.
i know God is doing His work in us.
and i thank God esp for you zc, thank you for praying with me and for me.
believing and fasting with me.
For showing me God's love and allowing me to know i m not alone..
carry my burdens and caring for me.

forgiveness! teach me how to forgive like u did jesus..
and i know tt everything will work tgt for the good.
nich says you let me go thru things coz you know I am strong enough to handle it.
be there for nich too..
i know it's all a test. tt all these will all come to an end.
tt u will show me the great and mighty things tt u can do.
show me miracles in impossibility and greater and brighter life will come..
to give me a hope and a future.
tt nth is ever too big for u!

okay back to work chpt 12! last test! no more last min crammings!
sep, presidency, ocip, studies, salvation, rs, finances..
much uncertainties, many giants to overcome.
work in all aspects of my life Lord! Amen.

rained @ 10:16 AM

God is so good in my life..
Joy and rest..
overnight prayer meeting is awesome.
thanks for inviting me zc.
elaine is cute, kit is so kiddy looking, jx, the 2 liangs, ben are friendly, miranda such a loving cgl, and jiahui such a brave and encouraging girl.. zone supervisor mj who greeted me, quite surprised to receive such hospitality and he's very funny, keep smiling, very nice. and his baby girl so very very adorableeeee!!
experience holy laughter for the 1st time. quite amazing. everyone so happy and keeps laughing (:
very lovely cell and zone, zc.
and i m glad we talked.
and tt u also desire God 1st in ur life.

and truly God is all I need in my life..
Putting 1st the kingdom of God.. and whether the all things else being added to me, dont really matter as much. coz it'll happen. but just putting God 1st is so much joy.
i seem to struggle alot with guys all my life.. i rmb there was once ping told me she & claire are worried, coz i have been thru so much bad pasts, they are afraid i dun dare to love again..
dun worry i wont..
but then right now in my life. i m just happy being along.
and for the 1st time in my life, i m truly beginning to enjoy singlehood..
wonder why i never ever see singlehood in this light, as a gift in the past.. wasted so much time chasing, struggling when i could have used the time better to serve God..
truly satisfied with just God, frens and family.
not needing a rs to feel any better abt myself.
and it feels good to come to such an understanding.
i just need friendship, fellowship and discipleship..

and i want to treasure this time as a single to build myself and serve God..
consecrate my life to my first love, greatest and only lover in my life..
breakthrus in family, in church, in my personal life..
thanks for filling up the gap for me Lord..
i want to be a mighty soldier that fights and build at the same time.
dont want to slacken like Eli..
and how you would test us every moment so that you may exalt us..
coz u desire to exalt us all days of our lives..
but you would test us. let me pass the tests Lord, let me stay close to you.
keep on keeping on, pushing out when satan pushes us back to our original spot.
joy and rest. even in huge storms, let me find them in you. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. walking beside still water, even when i walk through the valley of death, i will fear no evil..
God is just awesome. and joy to know we're created for such a purpose to be loved.

and easter is coming.. gor's baptism too.. breakthrus i need to see..
but God holds my life in His hands.
giving up my desire..
learning to view everything in the light of His eternity
and hence deriving more joy!
LOVE YOU JESUS! (:

rained @ 3:25 PM

to be patient and wait upon the Lord.
to be sure and make a conviction of faith or fear.
coz faith and fear are opposite.
so much issues and uncertainties.
so much walls and hurts.
an awful past, a complicated present, an uncertain future.
but for lack of better word, thank you for being there thru it all.
for being brave like a man. for teaching me much.
for being sure, for having a conviction.
for being willing to wait.
for loving an imperfect me.
sometimes i feel i m too blessed for all these.
coz for sure i know i m not ready to give my full self right now.
i still have lots of doubts and uneasiness and i often wonder whether all these are real.. rather whether all these will last. Help me to trust Lord.
Lord, let it be clear...
coz sometimes it feels as though i m more content being alone.

and the lyrics tt speak right into my heart, sang in church..
God speaks the right things to us at the right time..


no matter how things turn out, i know i can always trust God that He has the best plans for me...
Giants in my life, Lord help me overcome....
Break flowerpots and grow roots.

i love my family. i never get tired of time spent with them...
lunch at beach road w mum and dad, bringing taotao out to airport, eyes tt sparkle at everything, serious baby but before he sleeps he gets high, like really high.. laugh non stop. just like me.
studies, i need discipline very much..
cell grp, i miss them...
and carmen, i love you very much.

rained @ 4:03 AM

happy for...
emmeline going for bible study, for growing in the Lord. i rmb how it all started out. I thank God for such a random encounter with such a lovely girl who I really hope I can grow a stronger frenship with...

finishing application for SEP. I know I want it badly. yet I know if I dont get it, I will be sad but not very sad. coz I know God is in control and has a greater plan for me.

a great message preached at youth service. I want to use my youth to serve God therefore it became an even pressing want for a breakthru to come, for God to work in my life.. and imagining wayne serving full time, so lovely.. i know he'll be very happy. I know he'll be great.

frens confiding in me, for being there. for loving me. though I know I m really not a very good fren sometimes, for being absent and not being there when they need me.. and feeling so selfish sometimes even, afraid of appearing vulnerable, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of being abandoned when people find out tt i m acty not tt perfect after all, afraid tt ppl do not care, tt ppl will leave.. so much so that it paralyzes me from loving and giving sacrificially, from being totally honest with all my tots and feelings.. and it's bad. a vicious cycle. a limit to how much i can love. indeed it's better to give than to receive. coz when i receive so much i m thankful yet i m afraid i cant give as much and so i rather not receive.. i know it's selfish on my part. teach me how to love Lord. to love is to risk getting hurt and let me not be fearful..

gor also applying for MOE scholarship, for having an interest also in teaching. we dunnno God's plan for his life. but I am so happy seeing gor being so much more driven now.. for really growing up to be more like a man. for being a testimony which mum and dad can really see.

many things to be complete.. for stress to teach the ill discipline me to be more discipline..

I really have many things to work on. and i know it will be better for me to go thru them alone. build up myself. hardly ready..

rained @ 12:58 AM

Thank you Lord for a nice DP.. though the side seats were not filled. but at least the middle block looks rather filled.. and it's good enough i guess.. (: was praying before the start of everything but then after praying with ulrica just feels diff. indeed there is power when 2 or 3 comes tgt.. (: i hope my dancer enjoyed themselves. i hope audiences enjoyed themselves. i guess tt's the most 2 impt. and extra incentive of course would be for my cosi kids.. 1st thing in the morn, bus broke down. lousy bus service. dint even inform us but only told us when we called them and dint even send replacement bus down. caused us to waste our time.. had to wait for 30 min but in the end cancelled and everyone went down tgt by bus or by cab.. thank God tt despite the lost time, everything was still able to proceed smoothly even though the last part was super rush and xinhui was very fierce coz we did not adhere to her timing.. but thank them for being strict and decisive seniors.. thank you all my dear frens for turning up. xinhui, may, ping, qi, carmen, huixian, steph though it's so last min thank for coming love you, zicheng, my jcrcs, and my hall frens.. and my dear family daddy, gor, erjie and gundy.. u know the thing which makes me most touched. when daddy sends me a sms saying
"Dear daughter, u have done us proud as being cultural director. v well done dance. i like yr black spectacles the most.ha ha :-D :-D" 

smiley with a nose (: qi loves the haha and the smiley face. u must undstd tt my parents seldom say tt to me. and i m really happy i m able to be of sth which my dad can be proud of. i undstd what gor feels when he told me he wants to play well in basketball so tt daddy can be proud of him.. qi told me she saw gor and daddy racing on the track at nus high sch. gor in front, daddy behind trying hard to catch up. which is quite funny and cute. thank u daddy for still insisting to come even though mum decided not to come in the end. i really appreciate it. and saw erjie and gundy when i was in my nerd attire trying to check out if master has arrived. they laughed at me which was quite embarrassing. haha! 

so everything is well. thank you frens who came. sorry if i was going round busy taking pics and not having the time to talk to u all properly. thanks for being patient with me and loving me. Thanks for everything. Thank you God for making me a happy and blessed girl.. Thank you for frens val, pingni and ron who msg me to wish me luck even though they're not coming down.. i dunno who i missed out but just THANK YOU EVERYONE. you know i love you. thank you all my dancers, choreos and exco.. THANK YOU!!!

so tml open house. after tt sep and term paper. it just seems like my workload never ends. but i m happy.. receiving emails from chuan in america coz michelle told him he made me stress and depressed over xinyao. haha! dun worry la i m ok just concentrate on getting well.. and reading this from carmen's book.. which makes alot of sense to me..

There is an emotional promiscuity we've noticed among many good young men and women. The young man understands something of the journey of the heart. He wants to talk, to "share the journey." The woman is so grateful to be pursued, she opens up. They share the intimacies of their lives--- their wounds, their walks with God. But he never commits. He enjoys her.. then leaves. And she wonders, What did I do wrong? She failed to see his passivity. He really did not ever commit or offer assurances that he would.


Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Look at his track record with other women. Is there anything to be concerned about there? If so, bring it up. Also, does he have any close male friends--- and what are they like as men? Can he hold down a job? Is he walking with God in a real and intimate way? Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent of Adam's passivity and/or violence? Is he headed somewhere with his life? A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well.

it's cool and offers me new perspectives to look at things. indeed, no guy can tell me how to be Eve. I can tell no guy how to be Adam. No human can verdict our souls. only God can. We offer our beauty. They offer their strength. that is just how God has created us to be..

one challenge after another, the journey never ends. but that is just how life is. filled with ups and downs. all the way till the day of jesus christ! amen.

rained @ 3:08 AM

months of hard work. Dance Productions. see us thru Lord. See ME thru. cultural affairs director. it's stressful yet ok coz of angels God sent me to help me along the way. a burden in my heart to see things go well. to see everyone happy. to see the events successful and everyone taking back sth along the way..
when things dun go our way, all the more we need to depend on God. all the more I depend on God. coz sometimes we just realize tt humans effort are limited and sometimes there's just nth else we can do except to hope and pray. one man's effort may be little yet i always believe tt it'll make a difference. call me stubborn. but i refuse to give in or give up till i have really done my best. and till the end of the race.. yet this is what makes me busy all the time. good or bad i dunno. but somehow God wired me in such a way.. good i guess. I have to love myself the way I am.. Dom asked me can i just be selfish, must I do everything right. i guess so. I try my best to do everything right at least. I believe tt's when I can feel like I really live my life without any regrets.

i believe in miracles. i really do. i believe in dreams. I believe in the impossible. i believe God can do exceedingly, abundantly more than I can ever ask or imagine.. Sometimes I find it difficult to say these to people. coz I think they'll only think i m being overly optimistic and unrealistic, maybe even to a state of denial.. but it's not true. i really believe. but still it's normal for ppl to be skeptical i guess. so I really thank God when he send frens to me at diff periods of my life who believe in me, who believe tgt with me, though dreams sometimes seem farfetch and unrealistic. coz I m allowed to move forward with the beliefs and support of these people. and God really does make dream come true.. I've seen Him work tt in my life and I believe He will still continue to do so..

And it's true I need to learn to be more wise, more patient, more discerning. coz i often fail in those aspects. this whole journey of joining DP is tiring, challenging yet enjoyable and eye opening.. Never regretted doing so.. even though i struggle with studies and my social life and in supervising other cultural committees. Hm so tml is the day. good or bad. everything is in God's hands. we've done our best. so Lord I just want to trust you for a breakthru tml. trusting in you Lord. pls see me thru. Dancers let's put up a good one for all the audience present. i know i m motivated. coz so many loved ones down there supporting me. not very often i have 5 family members coming down to watch me ah.. esp mum and dad. seems so long ago.i really appreciate their presence and making time down.. xinhui for agreeing to come so readily, sarah for canceling on bbq just to come watch us and giving me a call specially to tell me u'll be coming to watch me, thanks for all the effort (: huixian for coming though i know how u would always dread concerts coz u fret over what to wear. zicheng for being so supportive of me. carmen my dear i miss u and coming down. ping and qi my A2 love and qi for persuading frens down. BFF not knowing if u r coming but know u would be supporting me, val for special sms to tell me u cant come though u would really want to, xinling for wanting to come down to, may my JC best fren for coming down, michelle my pillow for being there to help me with vip list and xinyao when i m so stressed coz chuan's not ard and u always undstd me the best in my whole walk of stepping up as JCRC i will miss u so dearly if u leave hall, karann for effort to promote to commando frens and leaving pizza for us when we r busy dancing, julie for sweet note and candy outside my door, fel my dear pushing sales last min though all are frens who u r not close to, dom for helping me with zt's and belle's present and always so serious abt correcting ur steps to put up a good performance. my nerds and bengs and yuzhen dancers for months of hard work, char, belle, pingsiew and their lovely exco for working hard with me to push this DP thru.. ms goh for being such a great teacher advisor... so really everything's set. let it be a good show Lord. Let it be a good show. Let the audience enjoy it. Let great amounts to be raised for my camobodia kids. Let the auditorium be filled so that my dancers will dance with a full capacity of auditorium Lord. These are my prayers. Amen.

rained @ 3:07 AM

restoring eve.. too much hurts in our lives. too many women brought up not receiving the kind of perfect love from our parents.. being young and not knowing anything we often attribute divorce, family violence, physical assault, verbal abuse, absence of parents, lack of love as our own internal problem.. tt the fault lies with us and tt we are simply not beautiful and lovely enough.. too many woman went thru hurts with men.. men who sin thru violence and through passivity.. who fear failure, who back off when things get too hard and women get too complicated for them... and because of all these. women live in loneliness.. desire for romance, for irreplaceable role in a great adventure, for beauty to unveil starts to wear off.. build up walls, guard our heart, afraid to appear vulnerable, be in control, not willing to trust.. living with what we're comfortable with, settling for guy's passivity.. we too are afraid.. but still desiring for someone to rescue us from these all.. some turn to drugs, alcohols, sex to numb ourselves from all the loneliness.. temporal relief but never solving the root prob.. it's so true.Adam and eve's story alone tells so much. adam standing beside Eve when serpent tempted her yet did not rescue her. was passive.. Eve did not trust God with her heart, tt God's plans were good for her when He asked her not to eat the fruits.. wants to be in control..

as i read. it speaks of me in many ways. arent i also like tt? afraid of getting hurt, take damn long to trust, dont want to appear vulnerable, want to be in control, struggle with what ppl think and say abt me esp ppl who matter, feelings of inadequacy, doubts of my beauty.. so exactly what kind of women did God have in mind? what kind of woman did God make me to be.. 

Satan was God's guardian angel. He was beautiful but it's the same beauty tt caused his fall. He got jealous of God and He wants ppl to worship him. He wanted to be the attention, the adoration. He fell because of beauty and his heart for revenge is to assault beauty.. He destroys it in the natural world.. Strip mines, oil spills, fires, Chernobyl.. And most especially, he hates Eve. because she is captivating, uniquely glorious and he cannot be. She is incarnation of Beauty of God. He embodies the glory of God.. He brings death. Ritual sacrifices, genocide, Holocaust, abortion.. And Eve is the greatest threat coz she brings forth life, she nurtures life. She is mother of all living things.. The messages of women's wounds are always tt we are not lovely enough.. but how about realizing it's not us. tt we are created to be beautiful but the things tt happen are coz we are a threat to satan because of our beauty and power.. that He'll do anything to make us feel abandoned coz that's women's greatest fear. tt we are abandoned and forgotten.. it's amazing to realize tt... tt we are really THAT BEAUTIFUL in God's eyes..

So why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache, an emptiness tt nth can fill.. it seems evil but it is to save us.. so tt when we are so broken, we will turn to Him so tt He can restore us.. and only He can do the job.. only He has to perfect love we desire...

i struggle i really do. with the flesh.. few events add up tgt and i feel depressed. i need to be more stable with my emotions with who i m. fluctuation of angsty, emo, holy, happy.. like carmen says. and heart is so deceiving. which i can never trust.. i need to flee away from temptations, not coz i m fearful.. but coz it makes me emo, distracts me from God it's not doing me any good.. i need someone who will keep me grounded in God coz it means so much to me.. and trusting God. i need to. coz when i dont, i worry i want to be in control of my emotions.. and then i fall even more badly..

Thank you Jesus.. for few things. Gor's good result, breakthru we've both been waiting for.. 3 yrs. finally come. i m so happy and proud of him (: he asked me for my results. and i reassured him by telling him he did better than me so dun worry he surely can go into the course of his choice.. and he replied he dun care he just wants to beat me. coz i win him in psle and o levels. says tt he win me A levels. gonna win my uni gpa so tt we will be on draw. healthy competition. hahaa. childish brother. but i love him. Gor being strong despite everything with mum and dad. I broke down.. but coz he's so strong, it makes me feel strong too.. encouraging and loving frens with me when i m stress over midterms.. thank u zicheng, diana and chuan.. carmen for being my best listening ear even though it's over LJ. my best fren who i can feel comfotable sharing everything to. love u. tolerating neighbours qi and fel... talking to soo and kit.. and going back to TJ seeing familiar faces make me happy. council nominees practising mass dances (: i miss.. talking to the president she rmbs my name when i forgot hers. saw rebecca's bro joel (: Interview with Humairah, as much as my sharings inspire her, it was the kids who inspired me. cambodia.. I miss..

Things will be good. rediscovering and knowing myself once again. May God reveal to me the kind of woman he made me to be.. Glorious, precious and captivating.. Not settling for 2nd best.. but making the best of what I can have. and my God is a God who provides..

rained @ 10:58 PM

HAHAHA! Retardedly ugly... but dom said it's coz of the loose screw at the top of the head tt resembles me.. 1st gift and note from him to us. i know how difficult it is for u to write a note coz u r an engine student. haha! effort & love la. thank you dom! perfect gift on a hot weather (:

1st bible study with anne yest. The only book in the book store on job is surprisingly not bad.. really quite nice. If not for the bible study sessions claire used to give me weekly wout fail for a good half a year when i couldnt attend church, i dun think i would ever undstd what it means to go an extra mile for a friend and how impt tt extra mile may mean to a person. I still appreciate it very much everytime I think back abt it and of course I hope tt such thoughts, efforts and love could be passed on.. and doing bible study with anne allows me to learn and be blessed so much myself too.. (: Thank you God for such sisterhood. till next week darling!

2 Cor 12: 9
And He said to me, " My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.


Grant me discipline Lord, grant me discipline. Amen.

rained @ 10:27 AM

Carmen.. I love your book..
" what's this book about?"
"about woman.."
"hmmm..."

Every woman in her heart of hearts long for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure and to unveil beauty..


We long for romance, to be seen and desired, to be sought after and fought for. Although we should not derive the meaning of our existence from whether we are pursued by a man, but it is true that we all want it. To be desired, to be pursued by one who loves us, to be someone's priority..

We love adventure and we want the adventure to be shared, we do not want adventure merely for adventure but for what it requires of us for others. We dont want to be alone in it, we want to be in it with others. We want to know that we are needed that we are irreplaceable

We like to be beautiful. And it's not just the desire for an outward beauty, but more. The desire for beauty is an ageless longing, We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that can affect others; a beauty all our own to unveil.


And what's wrong with that women? why are we ashame of our desires of wanting to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure and to unveil beauty.. why are we downplaying them. In this age, we are expected to live up to many social expectations of being busy, efficient, professional, independent women. we are getting by. on the inside women we lose ourselves in a fantasy world or in cheap novels, or we give ourselves over to food or some other addictions to numb the ache of our hearts. sometimes the idea of living as a hermit appeals to all of us. No demands, no needs, no pain, no disappointments. But that is because we have been hurt, are worn out. In our heart of hearts, that place we are most ourselves, we dont want to run away for very long. Our heart is still there, crying out to be set free, to find the life our desires tell us of. To be the woman God had in mind when he made Eve.. and when he made us. Glorious, powerful and captivating...

Women don't fear a man's strength if he is a good man. In fact, passivity might make a man "safe" but it has done untold damage to women in the long run.

the few parts I like in the book.. I paraphrased it... but still so beautiful.. reading abnormal psychology and eating disorders.. away with aneroxic, with bulimia, with binging.. i hate to know how these disorders kill ladies, how ladies commit suicide coz of it or why they resort to them in the first place.. I believe deep down every woman is beautiful and these things are never needed to make any woman feel any better about themselves.. whether outwardly or inwardly.. true beauty is within each and every woman and in it lies great strength which would draw ppl unto them.. Women is an image of God's heart and the image tt God had in mind of women is beautiful... Be the women God has created us be. Don't devalue our worth. Dont be ashamed of our heart's desires.. we are BEAUTIFUL!

rained @ 12:53 AM

simple weekend yet loving it.. morn prayer meeting, talking to anne, dance, laksa steamboat with my usuals in hall, al forno with family, visiting and slacking at gundy's house watching awakening and playing bingo, online service which was super touching, parkway with carmen love, don's 21st party (i m so used to calling him tt rather than eugene) meeting his family making new frens from his church and saboteurs with them, his mum knows me. he acty talks to his mum abt me. who our common frens are and what i m doing. he introduces me as one of his closest fren from outside. and i think abt what i ever do for him or our friendship, nothing. i guess i become skeptical and judgemental whenever i m uncomfortable with things. but i m glad things are better now.. i will put in more effort, i dont want to take things for granted... so all is simple and nice. i m a blessed girl despite all the challenges, facebook says. indeed, focus not on our probs but on our gifts and we'll realize we are acty very blessed and there are many things in life to rejoice and be happy about. ppl ask me if i m okay and i reply yes. coz truth is i m really ok and happy even though i suppose i should be feeling sad.. But only for a day. no more and I am glad no more. I am alright and many things i still am looking forward to (: it's not stopping me from pursuing my dreams, passion and interest. Opening up my eyes, JOY the Lord has given me. Thank you Jesus. Things will get better. Things will get clearer.. glory to glory! books from carmen-- captivating, kingdom come! finally things to read again! i cant get enough! (:

Now I undstd the essence of what it means of time changes how we see things. and what it means tt love is patient.. 10 yrs, 20 yrs, 30 yrs or 80 yrs.. love never fails. time tells things.

rained @ 2:50 AM