It's so important.. Our relationship with God.
Because everything we do should stem from that love relationship with Him, if not, even if we have accomplished many things and have many wonderful relationship with people, we still would feel that something is not filled deep within.
That's how I have been feeling, and I guess that's God constantly reminding me to draw back to Him.
To not lose myself in my midst of the pursuit of my dreams/desire, or even in church or ministry.
Contradictory experience, sometimes makes us doubt God's goodness over our life, to doubt His sovereignty over our life situation, or His love, to wonder whether He has forgotten us. To wonder how He can work in seemingly desperate and impossible situations. And When?
The difficult thing is to trust in Him and offer Him praises in the midst of these contradictory experiences. And the difficult thing is also the only thing we need to do. No wonder Mary has chosen the better part.
Help me yield to u Lord, to trust in you in the midst of desperation and contradictory experiences. Because that's when faith can arise. And because that is when our praises would be the sweetest aroma to u. Lord, help me find peace and joy in the midst of it all. And to love you always. Because I am insecure, and because I need you badly Jesus.
Luke 10:38-42 " 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
rained @ 1:52 AM
Friday, March 02, 2012
So I donated blood for my 2nd time just now. Super proud of myself cos i went alone n donated even though i was super scared of the needle. Even took a pic after tt to signify the moment.
And I acty felt well after donation. Slept and ate and even travelled from school to kent ridge mrt on my way home w zc. But when I was at buona vista, I removed the bandage on my hand cos it's been 2h alr. And for some reason, I felt super giddy and even puked all over the floor at the platform! Made a mess. It was horrible.
Sat on the floor to compose myself, and zc was there taking care of me. There was this passerby lady who saw us on the floor, dint know what happened but stopped to offer plaster and 枫油Anw :) she even gave the whole bottle to us. Super kind and touched by her 爱心枫油! :) she's like the good Samaritan in the bible.
Thank you Lord for taking care of me, tt I wasn't alone when all tt happened. Tt dear dear w was me, so patient n loving towards me even though I puked on him n his handphone. Tt people in mrt offered seat to me, tt mummy had delicious dinner alrdy prepared when I reached home. Tt miran was nice and dropped by my place to fetch dear who was late for cell grp.
I think this incident is coupled w the fact tt I dint slp alot last night and skipped lunch too cos had test.
So now gonna sleep. Just thankful for love and help throughout what happened. Thank u dear, thank u stranger, thank u my family and thank u Jesus. Hope the giddiness would go away n I would not puke anymore.
But still, this wouldn't stop me from donating blood. But this also means tt I must be healthier! So tt I can be a healthy donor. For whoever receiving my blood and for myself.
Goodnight! :)
rained @ 9:36 PM
oh man I am super unmotivated to study!
even though i have a test tmr, and 2 more next wk.
the year 4 sem 2 syndrome.
Limbo between graduation and a need to study.
The weird thing. I am not worried about it.
It's actually a funny feeling to be so unprepared, yet so unworried.
The things that excite me: planning what to teach for tuition, going church, spending time with people I love and looking forward to my after exams plans..
Just 9 more weeks to the end of my years of education! give me the motivation and see me through Father.
Let me end off the journey well.
It's 4 years since I entered uni. From my first days of receiving my NUS application and Teaching award, from being fascinated with everything about hall and its orientation, from psych camp, from my 8pm psych lectures and walking back to hall from science cos of the huge crowd of people waiting for A2, from my participation of experiments for RP points, from my late nights studying the thick psychology textbook, memorizing unfamiliar names of theorists I have never heard in my entire life. From experiencing for the first time what it means to study through the night till dawn. From going for my 1st history lesson since sec 2 and still struggling to know what cold war is day before exam. From being in A2 forming new friendships with qi, dom, kar, chuan, crystal, shiyi etc., From going my army fren's social night and commissioning ball. From knowing emmeline through a random event in cognitive class and stayovers from then onward. From meeting old frens all over campus for meals. From my participation in productions, swimming, JCRC, THOC, night cycling etc. From my days of travelling from hall to serangoon for cell at wayne's place. From falling in and out of my 1st rs, from my waking up at 530am to go to Jurong west for early morning prayer meetings, from knowing and falling in love with zicheng. From breakthroughs of churchgoing and rs with family. From going overseas with frens for the first time, from my 2 amazing OCIP trips to COSI. From getting into the honours programme and being where I am now. How time flies...
I have experienced many of my first here in NUS. So many new experiences, so much enthusiasm, so much passion. Recalling them, my heart is filled with the feelings I experience then. All so new, all so fresh in my memory. Looking at where I am today. I have grown so much. God has brought me through so much. And I thank God for this amazing uni experience to mold and shape me. Am I ready for the next stage in life? I guess I am. More ready than I think I am. And when it comes, I'll embrace it. But for now, it's not time. There's still a little way more to go. But I cant contain the feeling, the excitement of the arrival of something new. Help me be patient Lord. For I only want to follow and be where you will be, with me.
Thank you Jesus for loving me, and being on the side of me, always :) You are always faithful. Now please see me through my paper tmr <3
