It's just few days before I start my career as a teacher.. I have began to worry and wonder. What kind of a teacher would I be, would I truly be effective and responsible and loving and inspirational? Would I become a teacher whom my students would approach in times of need? would I be able to share my experiences yet giving them freedom, not forgetting that they are still youths who sometimes need to fall in order to learn? I feel like a parent, but doesn't teachers also care and look out for their students like parents would for their child? I feel I have matured and tone down a lot in the way I think and act, yet I don't want to lose that childlikeness in me.. That high/enthusiastic me, passionate and filled with zest about people and events.. That part of me allows me to empathize with how it is like being young and alive, to not kill the childlikeness in my kids, by just coming to them from top down.. Yet I need to be a model for those without one in their life, an adult they could trust and seek help from. It's not easy balancing these 2 roles of being relatable and trustable, yet at the same time, having to take care of the physical, academic and emotional needs of my children. I need to remember, whenever I serve, it's never about me, it's always about the kids and their interest. And I guess when I put God first and always think in terms of how He would think, what would He do, then I would see all these worries as unduly. That I would be alright, whatever my approach, as long as I love God wholeheartedly and love people fervently. Help me remove all doubts about myself Lord. You have called me to be a teacher because you know me best, and know I have what it takes, and you will take me to where you want me to be, to fulfill your will and your purpose. Help me trust in you God, and find peace in my calling, whenever I am in school and out of school. Help me live in submission, hang on to you and see how you come through in my life. I love you Jesus and I trust you, and I pray that you guide me through all these Jesus, Amen.

rained @ 3:19 AM

Tao nan school! extreme opposite from ECPS. perhaps this time God allowed this chance, so I would see clearer the kind of a school I would want to serve and teach in. I am excited yet a little nervous. But I know all will be well, my answers and doubts will be clarified and answered. God will take this chance to further my convictions. open my eyes oh God, open my heart to see...

My working life, starting in 2 more days :)

rained @ 10:19 AM