Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

Feel really sad to know that michelle is going to withdraw from hall end of nov. And for myself too, to make the decision whether to move out and save a month's worth of money, or to continue staying for the convenience from jan-feb.

 

I guess even though I am not around most of the nights, shuttling in and out of schools for BS, to have meals at zicheng's place, to meet friends, to church etc., it's always a good feeling to come back hall to hear "Welcome back!" from michelle, and to have a buddy to bathe tgt with, to sing songs with, to share burden with for my school work, to talk about lives and to talk cock with.

 

Having stayed hall for 4 years, hall has been a safe haven for me. I enjoy the serenity and the privilege to be alone and independent. I enjoy having to care for my own life, do my own laundry, stay up late and waking up late, going back to hall to rest in between lessons, to have a place where I can be of myself. And these few months, I enjoy having the company of michelle to be there to enjoy hall moments tgt with me.. and our cuttest neighbours who would never fail to bring smiles to our faces with their genuine laughter and friendships.

 

A time for everything under the sun.. It's truly time for me to leave hall. Time for me to enter the working world, travelling to and fro from work to home everyday, with no alternative place of rest to fall back on. No longer a student with hall life, but a teacher in the working world. School is no longer a place of work and rest for me, but a place for only work.

 

Change is indeed the only constant. Change is thrown right at our face and we are forced to adapt, even though our heart may not feel like it. To embrace change is the only way to be happy. To anchor our hope in God and to know that everything that He has in stored for us is good.

 

Michelle and I cried, over the loss of one another, as though it's like our last night in hall. How silly, but these moments are precious and we will look back and smile at them. We are who we are because of all that we have gone through. Moments and memories. We talked abt what cry babies we are, and how these feelings must be how our mums must be feeling when we get married, and how we must be feeling when we get married. The feeling of loss, of uncertainty whether everything will stay the same or if everything is going to change, though not knowing that change may not exactly be a horrible thing. And sometimes the feeling of loss is actually the beginning of something beautiful.

 

I have no idea the reason for this post, feelings of fear and uncertainty. It's as though I am standing at a crossroad of my life once again. I know a new journey is about to begin. NIE is ending. I am going to go to school soon. Which school will I be posted to? I have no idea. And I have no benchmark for expectations too. I just want a school that has a good supportive system for staff, where I could have good colleagues and where I can truly help and value add to children's lives and learning, where I can serve God's purpose for me to be the salt and light, where there're hurts to heal and needs to meet.

 

In the area of my finances, I need breakthrough. For my future life with zicheng, to be able to bless in a greater capacity, to arise and build God's kingdom. In the area of my spiritual life, I need breakthroughs too, for cell grp, for water baptism, for salvation.

 

Oh God, so much needs, so much desires, I feel the pressures of the world. Help me not be irritated or conform to these pressures Lord. But to always remember Your laws and to soar high above with u, basking in your love and peace, forevermore. Thank you Jesus for the cross, that I may have a life of abundance and more! :)