Planning for wedding can be such an emotional roller coaster.. The hardest part for me now is really dealing with expectations- my own expectations. Sometimes unwanted and unnecessary expectations. Between a ballroom with pillars that is within our budget and fits the rest of the bill VS one that is way above our budget, that may be aesthetically more grand and nice but with uncertainties over food and service. The former is obviously the wise choice. But it seems so silly that I am so fixated and upset over the pillars!
I am so tired spending my free time at office and weekends looking through forums and internets, reading wedding blogs, only to find that those that "looks" so great are way beyond our budget and the one that we have chosen is still the wisest choice. It's the rational me (the one who knows that it's a waste to splurge on a wedding and enter into huge debt at the start of our marriage) VS the irrational me (the vain me who wants a grand looking wedding)
I guess it's enough. We've looked through 30-40 over hotels, eliminated and shortlisted and finally come to this choice. Our parents are agreeable, and even my siblings and parents told me food quality, service and the company at the table that day are more important than pillars. I need to constantly remind myself, what's important. Marriage is more important than a wedding. Zicheng comforted me that it can still be our dream wedding, that the pillar is really not that important. And he hope I spend more time on the matrimony because that is the one that would really matter, and stop spending my time and effort comparing and regretting.
I think it's true that when we keep complaining and comparing, we miss out the blessing of God in our lives. I become so "I" focus and neglect that I have so much to thank God for.. I have to thank God that we even have the money to begin with to purchase our wedding package, hold a matrimony and hold a banquet. All these are luxury which some may never have the chance to enjoy. I have to thank God for our BTO house at Parcview and I have to thank God for my loving fiance.
So I have decided. After 1 year of camping in front of the computer looking from websites to websites at hotels, forums and blogs and going down for site visiting for to 20-30 over hotels, I need to let go and let God. To trust Him that this hotel selection that we make is the best choice for us. Pillars don't matter and there are screens with live screening provided. I am imposing a personal fast on myself to stop looking at hotels because honestly, I think I have already looked through most of them and I am now looking at really weird ones now which I know zicheng will never agree and I will not consider.
So enough is enough. So Copthorne King's it shall be. I confess that wantan wedding will be held there in 13 June 2015, that we will be able to negotiate and iron out details with the hotel and that our guests will have a good time that night and witness God's love in Zicheng and my relationship in the name of Jesus.
So I just want to trust you Lord to direct my path for the rest of the planning. The Lord spoke to me in Luke 9:3-4 (MSG Bible) when I was being such a bridezilla in my planning...
3 He said, "Don't load yourselves up with equipment. 4 Keep it simple; you are the equipment. And no luxury inns - get a modest place and be content there until you leave.
God is indeed good. He is concern about every single small details of our lives. He understands our frustration even in things like planning for a wedding and send His word to comfort us. Lord, I will choose to be content with this place which we have chosen, somewhere that is modest (definition: free from showy extravagance) in our standard. I choose to give up Goodwood Park or Four Seasons or other hotels which I preferred but way beyond our budget, and I know that regardless of where we hold it, you will show up amongst our midst as long we put you in the centre of our relationship. So let my heart be right with you Lord even in the planning of my wedding. I lift up all these silly burdens, frustrations and expectations I have to you and I leave the rest of the work into your hands. Thank you Jesus, Amen :)
